Q: My parents are strict Catholics and are disappointed that I won't be getting married in a church. My fiancé and I are not very religious and we don't attend mass regularly. We found a beautiful garden setting for our ceremony. We love the site, but it has become a major issue between my parents and me. They don't believe that a marriage is really a marriage unless you're wed in a church. Should we give in and change our location or stand our ground with the outdoor ceremony we really want?
A: Religion and faith can be delicate subjects for brides and grooms. Parents raise their children in their own particular faith and hope that they'll continue to practice it when they're adults. It can be hard for parents to accept that their grown children may have different perspectives when it comes to religion.
You and your fiancé should make a list of your reasons for a garden wedding, including the pros and cons for both locations. Take time to put some thought into it and be honest with your answers. When you sit down with your parents, discuss the reasons for your decision and why you feel this is the right choice for you. Allow them to express their concerns and what a church wedding means to them. If necessary, set up an appointment with your parish priest so all parties can have an open discussion with him.
Marriage is a sacrament in the Catholic Church; the ceremony only is celebrated in a sacred manner, led by a priest in a church. Recognize that your parents' view is the grounded in deep faith.
In the end, however, your ceremony should be a reflection of you and your fiancé. Respect your parents. Tell them how much you love them. But you and your intended must be true to yourselves and what will be the most meaningful for you.
