When the celebration includes children, the key point to remember is that they are not adults, they’re kids. It may sound simple enough, but many people expect children to act with a maturity beyond their years… at an event that’s not set up with them in mind. By taking a small amount of time to consider your younger guests’ needs, you can create an atmosphere that’s festive, elegant and enjoyable for everyone.

I am having a traditional hour-long wedding ceremony at my church and several of my guests will be bringing their young children? Do you have any suggestions on how to keep them occupied during the service?

It can be difficult for children to sit still – and stay quiet – for such a long period of time. Just as you likely will be giving favors at your reception, you may want to consider providing a small token, such as a book or a stuffed animal, for your younger guests. In any case, a parent should always be ready to take a restless child to a room in the back of the church if it becomes necessary.

My fiancé and I both come from large families and we want to include everyone in the celebration. What can we do to make sure that all of the children enjoy themselves, and at the same time ensure that their parents have a good time, too?

Most wedding receptions are designed with adults in mind, so when trying to accommodate young guests, look at things from their point of view. What would a child find enjoyable?

While an evening of cocktails, dinner, dancing and great conversation may appeal to many adults, it can be boring and tedious for kids. Think about creating a space at the reception just for them. Set up a table and provide coloring books, crayons and a simple craft to work on. Hire a babysitter to read stories and play games. If your hall has an extra room, set up a TV and show a variety of Disney movies. If you have a hard time coming up with ideas, talk to some of the parents and find out what their children would enjoy most.

I would like to have a 6 p.m. ceremony with the reception immediately following. All of my nieces and nephews are standing up in the bridal party and will attend the reception. My mother says that the time is too late, since dinner will be starting at the time most of the kids usually go to bed. She wants me change the time of the wedding, but I’m not sure that we need to. Who’s right?

You should always consider the comfort of all your guests when planning a wedding, but you should also stay true to the things that matter most to you. Your mother is right in the fact that for many children, dinnertime is much earlier in the evening, with bedtime usually around 8 p.m. Schedules are so important to young children and some kids tend to get irritable and restless as a late night wears on and on. Because of this, parents may decide to leave the reception early in order to get their children home at a more reasonable hour.

However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you should change the time of your wedding. As with anything, you need to prioritize what is most important to you and make your decision from there. If it’s very important to you that the majority of your guests stay for most of the reception, you may want to move up your ceremony by an hour or two. If you’ve always dreamed of an evening wedding and can accept that some guests may need to leave before the end of the reception, leave your ceremony time where it is. But only you can decide what is the right choice.

I’m having a hard time justifying spending $50 a plate for the children attending my reception, especially since they probably won’t like the food we’re serving. Are there any other options?

Most venues will offer a special children’s entrée – at a much lower price – for guests under age 12. Ask your banquet manager what choices they offer…chicken strips and French fries are always a hit with the younger crowd. I recommend that you avoid entrées like spaghetti, since it can be a bit messier for small children.

We’ve decided to burn CDs with our favorite songs as our wedding favors, but would like to give something else to the children at our reception. I’m having a difficult time coming up with any ideas. Can you help?

What child doesn’t like to open presents? I encourage my clients to put together little gift bags for their younger guests, and they are always a hit.

Start by going to a dollar store and picking up brightly colored bags, crayons, coloring books, puzzles, fruit snacks, Goldfish crackers… the list can go on and on. If you know the children well, personalize their bag to fit their interests. For example, a boy who loves trucks would enjoy receiving a few Matchbox cars. The gift bags don’t have to be elaborate, but they can work wonders in keeping children entertained.

Laura Davis, founder of Laura Davis Weddings, is a wedding consultant in Berkley, Mich. Visit her Web site at www.davisweddings.com.